Semi-Charmed Box of Embarrassing CDs

The other day, I was looking around in the attic for my copy of Sarah MacLachlan "Fumbling Toward Ecstacy" and I stumbled upon my box of embarassing CDs.

Please note that in the first line of this blog post, I already admitted owning a copy of that Sarah MacLachlan CD, which was certainly acceptable when I was in high school but is kind of a different story now, and also that I was *looking* for that CD, indicating I hoped to listen to it in 2010. I feel like this deserves an explanation. When I was in high school, I went to the Lilith Fair at the Gorge at George, Washington. It pretty much ruled. I got to see a ton of lady musicians and also probably tons of lesbians. I don't recall any details about the lesbians, but it WAS Lilith Fair. Anyway, Lilith Fair is back and I think the only artist who is still part of the original line-up is Sarah MacLachlan. By the way, aren't those animal shelter commercials with Sarah MacLachlan soooooooooooooooo depressing? I think if I hear that effing "Arms of the Angels" song, I'll probably start hugging my dog and weeping uncontrollably. Anyway, I was thinking about Sarah MacLachlan and I looked for the CD, and long story short, I totally couldn't find it so who knows, maybe I threw it out at some point since I was in high school.

If I did, in fact, throw it out, I kind of want to kick my own ass. I really wanted to listen to some "Building a Mystery" or "Adia." I was certain that I would find Sarah in the box filed next to my "Disco Fever" CD. Much to my dismay, Sarah MacLachlan was not in there (Disco Fever was in there). But some seriously awful music was. Which means I got rid of Sarah MacLachlan but I held on the crap described below?!? What the...!!? Anyway, you might be wondering why I have a box of embarrassing CDs in my attic. Well, dear readers, there's only one way to explain this. I am a music snob. I judge everyone else for the music they listen to, and I pretend that I only like super cool indie rock. But there are CDs I bought when I was younger that I for some reason do not want to throw away. These CDs are far too embarrassing to put on my music shelves. So they live in the attic. And BYOJJ is all about admitting all sorts of embarrassing things about myself, so I might as well let you all into my world of lame music.

So, it appears that I was really into 90s rock at some point. The majority of the music in this box is crappy rock music from 1996-1997. For example:

1. Third Eye Blind (It seems to be self-titled? I don't know)

I remember buying this CD. I think I bought it at Costco because in Idaho, it was normal to buy CDs at Costco. I was pretty much obsessed with "Semi-Charmed Life." I did not care for the anti-suicide anthem "Jumper," but that was a pretty big hit (#5 on the Billboard charts!?). The other day I was thinking about that song because apparently there was a possible jumper on the Eads Bridge in St. Louis. It seems inappropriate to start thinking about TEB when there is someone actually contemplating jumping off a damn bridge. Anyway. I'm looking at the track listing for this CD, and I realized that maybe I never actually listened to the entire thing because NONE of these songs look familiar to me. Oh wait, there is another song I know. "How's It Going to Be." Fun fact. The drummer from Smashmouth played on some of the songs on this album. Add one part Smashmouth to 3 parts Third Eye Blind and you get a whole lot of suck.

This was the only TEB CD I ever bought. But I might as well remind you guys of what Third Eye Blind did after this. In 1999, they released another CD. You may recall the song "Never Let You Go," which I remember liking when I was in college. You may also remember the song "Deep Inside Of You." That song is totally about sex!

2. Everclear, "So Much For the Afterglow"

So I just pulled this CD out and put it on. I'm not quite sure how to say this...but I think I might still like this album. I somehow know all the songs, and I am downright grooving to "I Will Buy You a New Life." I'm wondering what would happen if someone came over to my house right now and I was listening to Everclear. I don't think it would seem cool, or even ironic. Oh hey, that song "Father of Mine" just came on. I so remember listening to this album in high school. And I still know all the words.

I did some research on Everclear. This band is really depressing. That blond dude who fronts Everclear had a really hard life. Lots of serious problems growing up, impregnated his girlfriend, moved to Portland, had like 3 incarnations of Everclear members, was constantly compared to Nirvana, and could not get famous. This album that I'm enjoying right now was a big break for them, but Wikipedia still describes the hits off this album giving them "modest" success. Oh hey, guess what. They toured with Marcy Playground ("I like sex and candy...") and Fastball ("The Way"). The 90s is so weird. I mean, it's not that weird, but it's weird that I could have gone to a concert and heard those three bands together. I wish I had gone to that concert. I did see some weird 90s bands in concert when I was younger. I once saw a double ticket of The Rembrandts and Blessid Union of Souls in Pullman, Washington. Also saw Christian rock phenoms Live...live.

For many years, I carried my copy of "Jagged Little Pill" by Alanis Morissette in my car. People loved this. Everyone can get down to listening to "You Oughtta Know" when you are drunk and coming home from the bars. Somehow I think that if I started carrying this Everclear CD in my car, people would not be quite so amused. That's ok, I'll enjoy this in private.

3. Tonic

I don't have a lot to say about Tonic because I definitely never listened to this CD. I really liked that song "If You Could Only See" and so I bought the CD. Again, likely from Costco. But I don't think I listened to any other songs on the record. Now, I don't still like "If You Could Only See." So why would I be hanging on to this album? No effing clue.

4. Dave Matthew Band's entire collection

Once upon a time, I really liked Dave Matthews Band. Not that much, though, because I never went to a DMB show or anything. But I bought a bunch of DMB CDs and I listened to them a bunch. Several years later, I became extremely embarrassed about all of this and relegated my DMB CDs to the box. This is a mark of true music snobbery. I have tons of friends who still would go to a DMB concert. I, on the other hand, will not put a DMB CD on the same floor of my house as the rest of my music collection.

5. My ex-boyfriends's band's CDs

It may or may not be accurate to say I have/had a thing for guys in bands. I've dated a guy or two in a band. And I always end up with numerous copies of the CD of the guy in the band. Now, I have some excellent CDs that were recorded by guys I have dated. But the CDs in the box are not good. This music was created by dudes who were super crappy at making music. Which probably made no difference to me in admiring their general status of "being in a band." And why oh why would I still have the CDs of the band of some old dude I dated in my freshman year of college who I thought was cool because he had been a national champion in extemporaneous speaking (yes, I was on speech team in college, don't judge) and one time we drove to Milwaukee and he thought it was cool to pay the toll for the person behind us as we drove up there. Why.

Honorable mention

Would it surprise you if this morning, I got ready to the musical stylings of Sting? It shouldn't. I found a Sting album from 1991 in the box. I can't believe I own a Sting album. I was only going to listen to like one song, but 45 minutes I was still listening to Sting. Huh. I also found that Mighty Mighty Bosstones album "Let's Face It," which actually isn't that embarrassing because I still think this song is good:

Plus, Mighty Mighty Bosstones has that guy who just dances, which is pretty much the greatest job ever. I know that what he is doing is calling "skanking" in ska terms, but you and I both know that what he is really doing is the running man.

Well, dear readers, there's a look into my embarrassing secret CD collection that is no longer a secret at all. I guess I can go ahead and put these CDs on the shelf now, because everyone will now assume when they look at my music collection that I am just hoarding my John Mayer and Justin Bieber CDs in a box on the attic.